A Conversation With My Friend Who Really Wants To Have Sex With Mr. Incredible

Earlier this week, a review by The New Yorker’s Anthony Lane of the Pixar film “Incredibles 2” caught the attention of the internet.

The reason was a paragraph near the end of the article that painted a theoretical picture of two parents taking their children to watch the film only to find the mother comparing Ms. Incredible to Anastasia from “Fifty Shades of Grey” and the father catapulting his popcorn in a state of throbbing cinematic appreciation.

Holy crap, WHAT is with The New Yorker's review of The Incredibles 2? Gross. pic.twitter.com/2PCVW4BQga

— Amanda Wong (@amandawtwong) June 19, 2018

The review itself went under review. “Holy inappropriateness, Batman,” said one. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” said another. Lane was being “gross and leer-y” and “just wildin the fuck out.”

I, on the other hand, could only think of an old friend of mine, Will Wiesenfeld, who, for as long as I can remember, has badly wanted to have sex with Mr. Incredible, i.e. Bob Parr. This is not a joke. Will really, really loves him some Bob Parr.

i want Bob Parr to fuck me up and down the goddamn block

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 29, 2018

thinking about bob fuckin parr

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) June 12, 2018

i don’t think u understand how hot i think the dad from The Incredibles is. Bob Parr. that’s my dude

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 7, 2018

like honestly Bob Parr is a dreamboat

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) February 15, 2018

Wiesenfeld is a professional electronic musician mostly known by his stage name, Baths. He’s very good; Pitchfork loves him. My editor, Tommy Craggs, did not care about any of that. He wanted to know more about my friend who’d like to boink an animated superhero dad. He asked me to talk to Will. So I did. It turns out that Wiesenfeld’s desire to sleep with the man with perhaps the largest chest-to-hip ratio in the cartoon universe is actually just one part of a larger story about coming to terms with his sexuality through cartoons as a teenager ― and becoming something of a connoisseur of the form as an adult.

Here is our conversation, edited a bit for clarity.  

 ***** 

Will Wiesenfeld: Hey dude!

HuffPost: What’s up, dog?

Not much. How’s it going?

It’s chilling. I can’t believe I’m interviewing you about this.

I know [laughs].

So you want to fuck Bob Parr. When did that start? When did you first get into Bob Parr?

How long ago did “The Incredibles” come out?

2004.

I must have been 15. I wasn’t out. I would have just found out that I was gay, so probably not yet. I don’t know.

When did cartoons become a thing for you in terms of your own sexuality?

That was right away. Basically I found out I was gay because of porn, straight-up porn. I just realized that was going on and I had the realization, and I think through looking for that stuff and then always being a fan of Japanese stuff, I came across porny art and muscular art of characters, and so it started off not [with] American cartoons, but Japanese stuff and people’s original characters and buff men. And that would have been a year after I found out I was gay, so probably 16.

this mode of bob parr could get it ✔️ https://t.co/DLno1tbMBH

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) January 16, 2016

Why do you think you had that attraction to anime or cartoon characters?

I can tell you almost exactly. Everything about porn ― at least what I was finding ― was intense and kind of aggressive. There’s nothing really loving about it. It was just sex, obviously, and very intense and very upfront.

And almost immediately the first images I saw of this sort of stuff ― of drawn characters and erotic illustrations and stuff ― it was all softer, even though it was really muscular men. A lot of it was really domestic. There were comics that I found that were just couples at home, or illustrations of dudes doing it in an apartment, outside of a pornographic context, just because they were dating or whatever.

And all of that was brand new to me. Just the idea of gayness as normalcy. That was the thing that allowed me to come out after that point. I knew I was gay before finding out about this stuff, but then I was comfortable coming out realizing that there was a route to gayness and queerness that was chill.

And now is it more just a funny thing than anything else?

It’s not actually much of a funny thing. There are funny things that come up. There are illustrations that are insane, where it’s like, “Oh, my God, look at this.” But it’s a super deep hobby of mine. I collect art. I have a running collection of manga in my house and a bunch of illustrations. I’ve paid for commissions of characters and stuff like that. It’s very real and it’s very deep. And I’m into it in a way that’s well beyond a joke thing, you know? I’m truly down with it.

You’ve done a Bob Parr illustration, I know. Have you done other ones besides that?

Yeah, or I paid for a commission of it.

who can i
commission some tastefully hot mr incredible art from . mr bob parr

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 15, 2018

Right.

I commissioned this other character from this series called “Legend of Korra,” which is also an American cartoon. His name is Bolin, and I’m super, super into him. I’ve paid for commissions of him in the past. I actually have one that’s pending right now that somebody is doing [laughs].

With Bob Parr, what is it about him that attracts you to him?  

It’s a huge mix of things. Physically, he’s exactly my type. Big 40-, 50-something-year-old dudes who are muscular but kind of friendly and approachable ― that’s my shit. So that, combined with all the stuff in “The Incredibles” ― him being a good dad, meaning that it translates to him being a responsible person and, I don’t know, safe? Those things, they’re great. And they are a huge turn-on. And he’s straight, obviously, but you can find comics and illustrations and fan art that people have done that skew it into a fun gay thing, and there’s plenty of it with Mr. Incredible.

I think people would probably think of an attraction to a cartoon character as mostly a physical thing. It’s interesting that what he’s like as a father figure and person wraps up into it.  

I think that’s a thing with a lot of the characters that I’m really into. Bolin also is the same way. He’s much younger, but he’s carefree and positive and all that stuff. I don’t have a thing for villains usually, sometimes I do, but it’s usually a physical thing. But I’ll obsess over a character if they’re almost role model-y. I’m realizing it now in my brain that a lot of my favorite characters are the role model of the series that they’re a part of, or the most rounded and the most mature. ’Cause I think that it’s this weird motivator for myself to try and see myself in that.

“@DisneyPixar: Home sweet, crazy home. pic.twitter.com/LHOOqUXDCo”

Bob Parr could get it
god damn